Grand Masters - Stump Happens & Queen of the Jungle
Usually a previous Joint Master. If everything goes right, Grand Master does nothing. If everything goes wrong, this person does everything or just bitches about how it should be done. Either way, they really aren't as important as it seems and mostly act as an advisor.
Joint Masters - Slumberjack & Ole Yell Her
The people who need to catch all the shit before it falls through the cracks. Trail, beverages, snacks, brunch, cash, giveaways… these people need to make sure the big top doesn't collapse on the circus.
Hare Raiser - Hunt for Head October
This is a social butterfly adept at tricking wankers into taking responsibility at the hash. This isn't an easy task. This person finds hares for each trail. If they do not find hares or if their hares bail, the Hare Raiser and the Hare Master will take on laying trail for the hash.
On-Sec - Assfixiation
A masochist's dream. This person is responsible for run count bookkeeping, off-site treasury, ordering and receiving, filing and lots of boring stuff you don't want to hear about. In truth, this is probably the most important person in the mismanagement. Buy this hasher a beer at prelube. Second thought, they control the money so maybe they should be buying you one.
Hash Cash - Whale's Vagina
This is the on-site cash collector at each run who assists the On-Sec with this and/or recording the run count on sign in. As opposed to On-Sec, Hash Cash does not need to do any preparation or work at home so this is a good job for someone looking to get their feet wet in mismanagement. You do need to harass people for late payments however. You can identify the Hash Cash by the Golden Beer Stein they carry because they are probably skimming it off the top before the On-Sec gets a hold of it.
Religious Advisors- Bumspringa & The Whore Of Sarajevo
The individual who serves as the shepherd of our motely flock. She guides us to the promised land in the name of the beer, booze and brunch! Our spiritual leaders in the fellowship of Hashism, bring charisma and energy to a bunch of hungover hedonists, while ensuring perfect weather every Sunday. Religious advisors generally aren't as prepared as they should be but are great improvisational liars, making everything they spew sound good. Luckily, wankers are easily misled after a good prelubing!
Scribe - Dr. Cocklulus
This rare literate hasher is responsible for recording all the debauchery that occurs at the hash for posterity. This person collects and dolls out violations during the event, using creative license to enhance the quality of ridicule within the circle. This wanker is also responsible for posting hash trash at some point after the hash, before the next trail.
Haberdasher - Cum Brew Lay
This hashionistas are responsible for making our entire hoard look just FABULOUS!!! The haberdashers work with the On-Sec and other members of mismanagement to brainstorm and order items for the haberdashery and then this peddler of wares gets to work selling our crap to anything that moves. “This will look just fabulous on you… especially when you're hungover in a bog… just fabulous!”
Webmeister - Straight in the Navy
Vital internet guru who keeps the cyber lines of communications connected. This person works closely with the Hare Raiser to get timely updates for the details on the next upcoming trail.
Hash Ho - Mismanagement
All members of mismanagement are responsible for being hash whores while in office, going to other area hashes and advertising H4 upcoming events whenever possible so as to gain participation and communication throughout the kennels. May hashing never die and if it does, may we die first!