Start: Van Dorn Metro
Theme: Hanukkah Hash!
Hares: GTO, Justin Beaver, Fister Roboto, The Spy Who Shagged Me, WAMPCO
After the hares were sent off, the intrepid (if somewhat bleary-eyed from closing down The Light Horse the night before) pack left the metro parking lot punctually at 10:37 a.m. with turkeys and eagles zigging to the left and penguins zagging to the right, all in anticipation of the eight promised shots to be had. The penguin trail was reminiscent of summer days past, with water crossings galore and sandy beaches, still with plenty of shiggy including brambles to go around. For the turkeys, it was tunnels, tunnels, tunnels! Only three hashers were fearless enough to claim the glory of "eagle" despite Camo Sutra's best efforts to dissuade them from following what turned out to be nine miles of Fister Roboto's live-hared dream (nightmare???) of all the best shiggy that Alexandria can offer, which is why they were not only eagle FRBs and FBI but DFL for the entire trail! Speaking of violations:
Osama bin Hashing for stopping at the train tracks to watch the train coming in (surprised the po po didn't bust him like they did the beer check)
All of the anti-semites for wearing Santa gear [and for all you (and by that I mean one) grumbling, bah humbug types, you do realize Scrooge is a character from A Christmas Carol, yes?]
Titty Pop and YOCO for being overachievers by walking the runners' trail
In the "things hashers say" category:
GTO - "I'm wet to here (pointing at his crotch) but I don't want to go any deeper"
Wookin' Pa Nub to Bumspringa (after Bumspringa takes a huge swallow) - "Oh, you should like that; it tastes like my cum"
Cum Brew Lay announcing to Dude, That Guy that he's gonna pitch a tent in his front yard
Dude, That Guy for porn on trail (yes, yes, acceptable hash behavior...)
Then the pack retreated for brunch and social drinking. Happy holidays and see you next year!
Yours in the Hash,
Queen of the Jungle