The morning dawned as bright and beautiful as Wreath in his sparkly pink tube top for the first anal trail commemorating his swim under the canal road. Unfortunately, however, the trail was doomed from the start. Perhaps it was bad karma from the racist DJ at the prelube. Lead hare Nemo lost his phone while laying trail (that’s what you get for prelaying). Luckily it was found before the pack could rack up excessive phone sex charges.
Runners were in for it, as live hares on AU’s campus circled the trail on itself causing mass confusion for nearly 20 minutes. However, they were treated to a beer check featuring Wreath Around hidden at the location of his fall with Tragic Carpet Ride serving as his life guard. Floatees cannot be trusted to save lives. FRB Saigon Sally and FBI Cockodile Hunter were awarded coveted treasures for their efforts (Sally, since you left your sponge bob kickboard, you will be carrying it on every trail for the foreseeable future).
The walkers enjoyed a leisurely stroll with delicious shots and spent the remainder of the morning watching dogs and children playing at the dog park during the on in while waiting … and waiting… for the runners. Circle was kicked off with the recognition of Whale’s Vagina’s ability to remain alive for another year with dancing entertainment provided by a chocolate lab who was much more interested in the hash’s rendition of Happy Birthday than her owner’s futile attempts to wrangle her ass back to the proper area of the dog park.
The hares were repeatedly violated for their trail, the loss of phone, and by Cocodile Hunter, who was alarmed at being gang banged by a bunch of pricks in such a nice neighborhood. Too Good received recognition for the most creative tree crossing and throwing her drink at people. Spunk in my Trunk utilized visual aids to help everyone remember her new name by using her ass to get down trail. Finally, GTO was violated for not knowing Father Abraham and his general failure to serve as RA.
Apparently Osama bin Hashing arrived after trail started and left before the end. If anyone sees this wanker, tell him he will be violated next time.
A delicious brunch was finally had at Chef Geoff’s by everyone… except two Justs who started trail late and apparently found a farmer’s market which was more enticing than hashing.
Until the next debaucherous Sunday (which is this Sunday, by the way, and don’t forget the time change)…